4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
