Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
