i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just want nice things and good sex
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
