so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
