Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
