I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
