His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
