I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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