i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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