Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
