go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I could make wine with my vomit
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
