I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
worst night to have a conscience
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
