man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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