It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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