He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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