If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
