Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
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