Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
