Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize