whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize