I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
