She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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