wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
