True but thats because hes a fetus.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
