I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
