I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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