Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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