Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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