Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
