He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
3pm strippers are depressing
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
