I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
