Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
