just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
