a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
