well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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