"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
