T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize