Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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