You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
