Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
