Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
