So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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