Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Houston, we have a squirter
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
