girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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