i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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