Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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