she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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