she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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