Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
