I cockslap morals
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
