NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
