What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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