I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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