why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
