I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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