dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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