And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
