Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
