So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
