We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i dont even know how to be here
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
