last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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