That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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