I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize