Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
