remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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