I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
