I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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