he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We are all done wearing pants today
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
