Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
