forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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