Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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