Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
