The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
