Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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