So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
