Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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